Wednesday, February 23, 2011

there is a light and it never goes out

So I was thinking about this thing called "Writer's Block" the other day.

I still do not believe in it.

I remember having a kind-of cool assignment one time, way back when I was an undergrad and was taking a course in expository writing. I liked the class a lot. I found the professor to be energetic and really attached to what she was trying to teach us, even if she and some of the other students in the course, as I recall, scowled over my use of the word "piss" to describe the flavor of a particular wine in one of our assignments.

Well, the wine wasn't in our assignment. I just wrote about it. Tasting like piss.

I also tended to use other words that the professor and my fellow students of expository writing... well... weren't used to seeing in college papers.

Anyway, this one assignment was about giving a personality and human characteristics to the monster that stops us from writing. You know, some people... well... probably a lot of people... feel like they can't sit down to write unless their house is clean, or until there are no dirty dishes in the sink.

Stuff like that.

So they let these really dumb and unimportant obsessions become monsters that need to be taken care of before they can sit down to write.

And once they slay all the monsters, it's, like, bedtime and they have to get up and do the same routine all over again the next day.

Maybe that's why I start writing at 3 a.m.

But I still don't let anything get in the way.

Trust me, I have enough monsters that won't go away to worry about the weaklings who try distracting me with things like dishes and dust bunnies.

So, anyway, if you're a writer and you actually believe in this unicorn called Writer's Block, maybe you should try turning it into a real, go-wash-the-dishes-and-pick-up-the-poop-in-the-yard monster.

And then write about it.

Beats the shit out of zombies and vampires, if you ask me.

Ooops... there was one of those words I got in trouble for.