Thursday, February 24, 2011

the god of not working out


So, you look like you work out.

I do every day, but this isn't about pickup lines.

Although the great-big-giant-me works out, there are times when nothing else seems to. I've been going through this intense phase of things not-working-out and it was inadvertently (and benignly) pointed out to me by fellow Los Angeles-based YA author Katie Alender, to whom I am now inadvertently, consequentially, and benignly grateful.

Note to aspiring authors: It is probably unwise to use three successive adverbs.

[mindflash -- so, I was sitting here just now, thinking about what it would REALLY be like to drink Drano, and I remembered how I had this dream last night and in it I was drinking a peach margarita. Would I EVER drink a peach margarita? What does that even symbolize? I hereby grant anyone permission to kick me in the balls if I ever drink a peach margarita]

Anyway, so Katie pointed out that my website (I directed her to it for information regarding an appearance this weekend) was not updated with the information I told her would be there.

This is why, when doing things like updating your websites (assuming you've gotten beyond the task of not-using-three-adverbs in your prose), it's probably a good idea to check your work.

So I realized the old website was... well... the old website, and that none of the stuff I'd been putting on it for the past... oh... eight fucking months had been showing up.


So this explains why, when asked by a certain real and professional filmmaker about my upcoming novel, Stick, and I said, oh... I have a little something about it on my website.

And then the filmmaker said she couldn't find it, and I rolled my eyes and sent her an email explanation (thinking she was insane, when, in fact, it was the great-big-giant-ME who was delusional).

So, that's just the tip of a very unseaworthy iceberg that I've been floating on these past ten days or so.

Anyway, the website has been repaired (note the excessive use of the hyperlinks and adverbs)... and the link on the right column now works, but the URL is totally screwed up and I don't know how to fix it.

But, then again, I don't know how to fix most things, either.

Yesterday, I saw a rough cut of the live-action trailer for Stick, which I'm planning on debuting at the Southern California Independent Booksellers' Association Children's Literacy Dinner in Pasadena on Saturday.

Yeah. Right.

Well, the video is looking amazing. I can say that. But, then again, this is me, a servant of the patron saint of not working out.

It looks like it will be a while before I put it on the internet, though, because we're still holding off on a final cover reveal (even though there will be a not-so-final cover for the SCIBA folk on Saturday).

But that's it.


Because it's supposed to snow on Saturday in the mountains where I live.

Have I ever said how much I hate driving in the snow at night? So, no worries... I'm staying down there in Pasadena, anyway now because the next morning I have to head down to Chino for the Family Festival of Books at the Chino Fairgrounds, where I'll be signing copies of The Marbury Lens at noon.

And, this is all dependent on my ability to get things to work out.

As Rose might say, "Ha!"

(ooh... literary allusion)

Anyway, it might just be me. I'm wondering.

You can find out stuff about my upcoming gigs (I believe) on my new and improved website.

Please tell me it's really there.