Tuesday, March 3, 2009

if it's tuesday, sarah must be pregnant


Randomness continues:

MY FRIEND SARAH
is expecting.

She's also not reading anything at the moment.

She begged me for my only copy of in the path of falling objects.

I caved.

I AM STALKING YOU now, Sarah.

That was my only copy.

But Sarah needs a good boy book. She teaches English. She's having a boy, and has the unsavory habit of recommending books like The Joy Luck Club and Like Water for Chocolate to teenage boys.

I am not kidding.

SORRY IF THE BOOK GIVES YOU NIGHTMARES, Sarah, but you pleaded.

It's her first kid.

Welcome to boy.

NOTE: The books mentioned above are great books -- don't misunderstand me. They're just not always a good fit for teenage boys.

Update your reading list, SARAH.

SIDE NOTE: This is a first for me. Yesterday, the FedEx guy stopped by my house with a large envelope from Random House. It contained a very thoughtful handwritten fan letter from a listener of the audio version of Ghost Medicine.

I was totally blown away.

Also by the nice little note from Nevin Mays, the editor at Random House. Very thoughtful of both of them to actually take the time to get that into my hands. Of course, I keep things like this forever.

Thank you so much, Nevin and Rita for brightening my day.

ONE MORE THING... about my visit to the kids in Sandra Rayl's Creative Writing class. This comes up a lot, and it's one of my pet peeves. Formulas. Kids get them shoved down their throats all the time. How to write an essay: formulas (formulae?) for paragraphs... what kinds of sentences to use, and in which order. concretedetailcommentarycommentaryconcretedetail

Gah!

Get over it. This stuff hurts our kids.

The one I hear most frequently, that bugs me the most, is the commandment-like belief among the vast majority of writers today that sentences have to be short and punchy... nothing beyond subject/verb... and an occasional object... but that's it. Or an editor will HATE YOU.

Well... guess what?

You're full of crap.

Guess what else?

There's a sentence in in the path of falling objects that has 106 words in it. You may want to read it twice. You'll probably want to close your eyes and have someone read it aloud. I meant this book to be read aloud... which is why I am really looking forward to the audio.

Guess what (times three)?

There's an ENTIRE CHAPTER in that book with only 13 words in it, too.

And it's three sentences long.

CALCULATE THAT, literary Einsteins.

It can be done.