Saturday, August 6, 2011

the vice president's balls


Nobody reads blogs on Saturdays, which is too bad.

I think there are a lot of hungover people in Los Angeles this morning. That's what happens at writers' conferences. But not here. Not at this conference, where you get all the good shit you need.

Anyway, I haven't forgotten that I need to conclude my Suicide Prevention Pit Bull story, which is a true story with a real crackerjack ending with twists, and I need to give some more Agent and Editor Tips and Tricks, and then there are the Breakout Sessions and even a Keynote Address.


I think I'm going to need a bigger slot.

But since nobody is reading blogs because they are hungover and also just starting brand new WIPs inside their four-to-a-room doubles with strangers who fart, because they just learned last night through a private encounter with an influential agent who was peeing at the urinal next to them what is the new HOT trend in YA, I thought I'd mention a couple things about my book, The Marbury Lens, just because I hate to be all egotistical and shit and nobody's reading this, anyway, for the reasons listed above.

By the way, the next HOT trend in Middle Grade?

Just remember, you heard it here first bitch:

The next HOT trend in Middle Grade will be anti-bullying books about monthly testicular self exams. The target audience is frail boys who can't keep their hands off their balls. It should probably be an audio book.


Anyway, I will be on Evil Editor's Blog this morning, at noon Eastern time, discussing with non-hungover people The Marbury Lens, at the invitation of the Evil Editor himself or herself. I don't even know who Evil Editor is, but he or she has a pretty cool blog. The link is at the bottom.

Also, I am quite honored that The Marbury Lens is a finalist (among four books) for the Southern California Independent Booksellers Association 2011 Book Award. This is really a tremendous award, and to have my book there in the final four is quite amazingly nice.

I will have to draw some pictures if I give a speech and shit.

Anyway, the awards dinner is going to be held on October 22 at the Hilton in Long Beach, which is a very very nice place. I once got beaten up and pantsed in a dumpster behind the Hilton in Long Beach, so I know. It also has really nice urinals.

I'll be signing copies of the just-will-have-been-released Stick there, too, so people in attendance who choose NOT to beat me up and pants me can get an autographed copy of a real crackerjack book.


Evil Editor's Blog is here.

The SCIBA 2011 Book Awards List is here.