Saturday, March 6, 2010

the after party

By Nick Sweeney, Grade 11

I have managed to forgive Mr. Smith for being the excessively paranoid and bipolar hermit that he is. That was a big thing for me to do after spending a freezing night sleeping in Mom's Infinity, terrified by the roaming bands of Druid neighbors and countless snarling predatory beasts that live right outside Mr. Smith's fences.

And the worst part was sleeping -- or trying to sleep -- in my clothes. Now, I've been wearing the same things for more than 24 hours and I feel like mushrooms are sprouting from my body.

But when the sun came up this morning, Mr. Smith had apparently realized that I was trapped, so he broke out one of his plywood barriers and rescued me. I felt just like that kid who fell down a well and was stuck there for two days.

Thank God I should be able to get myself home in time for the Oscars. Mr. Smith just shook his head, disappointed, when I told him I was having a party for the Oscars program. He told me he'd respect me more if I just confessed to being a crack addict.

He is so unbearably uncool.

-- Nick S.