Wednesday, June 24, 2009

things we hate

"Writing is the flip side of sex – it's good only when it's over." -- Hunter S. Thompson

I know that a lot of authors and aspiring writers go on and on -- almost like they're at some 12-step group meeting; offering witness as to how they've seen the light -- about how much they love writing, but I'm with Thompson on this one.

I hate it.

But, I hate it when it's over, too. So, at least I'm consistent in my contempt for what I do. I know that you're probably thinking, Drew, you are a complete ass. If you hate doing it, then you should quit.

On the surface, this pronouncement seems reasonable, but my consideration of the alternatives precludes the acceptance of this simple remedy.

1. The exploding head
2. Wearing shoes and "trousers"
3. The manifestation of a socially unacceptable form of insanity

So... I didn't even take a break from the last thing I finished up (seems like just days ago), and here I am working on yet another novel. Part of me probably just wants to see if it is humanly possible to write more pages in a year than New York Times Bestselling Author Michael Grant, but there's also the whole self-flagellation thing, too.

Anyway, I am really hoping to force a quit to the self-destructive behavior after ALA Chicago in a few weeks, at which time I plan on leaving the country sans laptop.

Yeah, right.

But, speaking of ALA, here's the schedule for getting your funk on with the Drew:

1. I will roll into town on Friday morning. There will be lots and lots of parties and stuff... for about 48 hours, until...

2. Sunday, July 12, 8:30 - 10:00 AM: Ow. My head. I will be one of the authors "speed dating" with folks at the YA Authors' Coffee Klatch. I don't know what other authors will be there... but, trust me, it won't matter. I'll be wearing shoes. And pants.

3. Sunday, July 12, 1:00 PM: I will be doing an in-booth signing of Advance Reader Copies of in the path of falling objects, at the Feiwel & Friends/Macmillan booth 1813 in McCormack Place West. You want one.

In other cool and trouserless news: I will be going in to the recording studio [good God! not my voice... I sound like an idiot] on this coming Monday, June 29, as Random House/Listening Library begins production of the audio version of in the path of falling objects. I'm really excited about this because I think this particular novel will make an amazing listen-to.

One problem, though...

[Stop reading now if you work in the Flatiron Building]

... there is still no final cover design for the novel. So, Random House has opted to put a picture of ME on the outer packaging.

Sitting there with no pants, drinking whiskey, slouched over my keyboard while my children plead: "Daddy, please feed us! We are so, so hungry!"

I hate writing.