Tuesday, November 24, 2009

stupider than jupiter


Can we talk?

Good.

Let me tell you how stupid I am.

I am stupid. If stupid had a god, there would be churches built in my name.

If stupid was the size of Texas, I could pinch it between my cheek and gum and spit oceanic stupid spit blobs bigger than Jupiter.

If the universe consisted of only two things, an ass and a hole in the ground, my brain would be the vacuum in which they eternally floated, and I'd keep calling them both by the wrong names.

That's pretty dumb.

If rocks teased one another about their cognitive abilities, they'd use idioms like "Dumb as a box of Drew."

Let me explain.

Or not.