Friday, December 23, 2011

masking the scent of death and decay with springtime potpourri

How do you like your machines?

Here is what happened this morning.

I always start work by checking my email. This time, I could not get anywhere.

My modem has completely died.

It was an old modem. It worked nicely. In fact, I was the very first person here in my little non-gay lakeside community to have DSL.

That is the truth.

When I called my service provider (keep in mind this was very early), they talked me through all this dumb stuff for, like, 45 minutes.

[actually, it was exactly 45. I checked my phone record.]

I do not even own a "landline" at my house.

Unplug your modem.

Unplug your router.

Plug them back in.

Reboot your computer.

It was all very dumb.

I did all that shit, like twice, while I was on hold and answering a computerized but pleasant-sounding female voice.

They finally decided that my old modem was dead, and they would need to send me a new one.

I am not certain if there are less-convenient days for a DSL provider to decide you need a new modem than two days before Christmas.

So I am blogging from my iPad.

I have this really cool wireless keyboard built in to my iPad's case.

It's not like I really need the internet, or shit like that, for a few days. I was doing some writing work (which did not include composing a goddamned autobiography) entirely offline, anyway.


I need to go outside and feed the horses.