Saturday, June 9, 2012

the malnourished center in my brain

So, last night I got an email.

The email was from this social networking site called LinkedIn. I have never been able to figure out what LinkedIn does.

Like Pinterest, I think LinkedIn communicates with parts of peoples' brains that do not receive enough bloodflow in me.

LinkedIn and Pinterest make me feel like a confused terrier in an art museum.

Anyway, the people at LinkedIn informed me that my account had been hacked.

The horror!

What will happen to all the links I am "in" with? I wondered.

I don't even know why I was linked-in to begin with.

Really... what in the name of God does LinkedIn do?

Please do not post a response to that question. It was merely rhetorical and I know I wouldn't understand any answer, despite the degree of coherence evident to other human beings with well-oxygentated LinkedIn and Pinterest centers in their cerebral cortices.

You know what I think is really lame?

Making a big deal out of a departure.

Leaving is something that is supposed to just happen, in my opinion. But then again, maybe I have a nutrient-starved dramatic departures lounge in my brain, too.

I once belonged to a group of writers.

I know.

I also have a seriously malformed group-identity area in my brain.

Some of the people in the group were catty, competitive, bossy, and mean to one another.

[Imagine that! Writers being catty, competitive, bossy, and mean! What a bizarre universe I come from!!!]

You know what I did?


I left. Just like that. I didn't say anything. I just vanished.

I mention this because I am fascinated by people who go on and on with long goodbyes on social networking sites like Facebook, like they give a countdown to all their friends: I am going to delete my account in exactly seventeen days because I hate and distrust the "new" Facebook!

And then for seventeen days they keep using Facebook to tell you how they are going to delete their Facebook account.

I am fascinated by shit like that.

So, here I am using a blog to say to all my Linkees from LinkedIn that I have deleted my never-once-used LinkedIn account.

Try to get over the pain.

And please don't tell me anything about Pinterest.

I honestly can't handle it.

Today's Instagram topic was My View Today.

I have a birdhouse in my backyard. It is on the other side of the impenetrable barrier established by the ten-ton fucking tree that fell down and crushed my fence and horse corral last Monday.

If I sound bitter about the ten-ton fucking tree, I am.

The tree, in life as in death, belongs to my neighbor, who seems to like it just fine in my fucking yard.

I am going to send him an invitation to LinkedIn and Pinterest!

So I scrambled through the apocalyptic nightmare of my backyard this morning and snapped this picture of my birdhouse. By the way, little birds live in it every year and have very chatty and demanding little baby birds.