It was nice, but came at a most inopportune time. We were on our 5-mile run, about as far from home as we ever get, on top of a hill behind the old church, and then it was all rain and thunder and lightning. I didn't mind, but my wife has this completely irrational fear of thunderstorms. She just freezes up entirely, even inside the house.
Then, she asks one of those zen-like unanswerable questions:
"You think it's funny, don't you?"
Well. Yeah, I do. But, of course I didn't say that. I just pretended like I couldn't hear her.
Oh yeah. I like scaring her.
My daughter used to have one of these life-size carcinogenic and lead-based plastic Barbie dolls that was, I guess, about 3 feet tall. My wife was scared of that, too.
So, me being the sensitive type that I am, one April Fool's Day a couple years back, I got up really early and put the Barbie on the stairs like she was coming up to our room. Oh yeah... one little detail... I had her arm raised above her head and I taped a big butcher knife into her hand.
Then there was the ketchup dripping down her face, too.
It was all very tasteful and artistic, in my opinion, but sometimes, I guess, there's no accounting for what the viewing audience will accept as "art." Anyway, I wasn't at home when the discovery was made, but I do remember fielding a very angry phone call later that morning.
And we never saw that Barbie again, either.
-- A. S.