First of all, I read a great story on author Brian James's blog today about how he responds to every letter/email he gets from readers. Really great story, that makes me even more obsessed about forgetting things in the seat pockets of airplanes.
I'm like him. I respond to every one, too. Even the ones that have made me uncomfortable. Like yesterday, for example... I was at a party, and I got an email on my phone from a reader who wanted me to explain a particular sentence in one of my novels because she thought the sentence was grammatically and syntactically incorrect. She loved the book, though. And wrote some very well-worded emails to me with expert grammar and syntax. But she just didn't "get" one sentence.
Attention: All of my sentences are perfect.
No fragments.
Ever.
As authors, too, I'm sure there are others out there who have had the experience of "chatting" with aspiring writers who are consumed with bitterness and hatred toward literary agents and the American publishing industry. So they spend a lot of their time spewing venom about how corrupt, bereft of talent, and inbred literary agents and editors are... and then you read a page or so of what they've been trying to get repped or published and you're, like, holy crap, I've read better stuff from heroin-addicted gradeschoolers.
You know?
So, the latest one of these, the angry and unpublished, tells me how he's totally fed up with American publishers and talentless American literary agents, and could I give him any advice for finding a foreign literary agent or editor to publish his work.
I told him he should build a rocket ship in his back yard.
Oh yeah.
That's what life is like.
Exactly.
That could be a picture of ME, wearing a tie, passing off my latest work to my agent, an absolute Black Belt in multitasking, who can pen out my latest contract with her right hand while handing over a wad of cash with her left, all the while, (if you look closely) she is speed-reading and falling in love with my manuscript. Good thing her phone's not ringing, or she'd sprout a third arm from her sternum on the spot.
4 comments:
I read Brian's blog also and from someone who has written to an author and received a reply back - thank you.
Needless to say, I've grown obsessive about checking the seat pockets since that trip.
I also get the grammar comments in a lot of reader reviews of my work. I'm terrible at grammar and invented my own grammar long ago when developing my writing style. People tend to love it or loathe it. Personally I think if you're reading with grammar on the mind, then you ain't really reading.
This unpublished, wannabe author loves all agents and publishers. He knows they work hard, too hard, and are pretty much the greatest human beings to ever walk the Earth. Especially if they are reading this right now. In that case, I love them even more, and if they're interested, they can just email me, and I'll tell them how much I love them and all the hard work they do if they agree to read my manuscripts. Thank you agents. Thank you publishers. I love you oh so much.
Can you find the fragment in this comment?
Someone will find it, William.
And Brian, I could really empathize with how horrible you must have felt about that letter. Things like that keep me up at nights for weeks sometimes.
Connie -- Thank YOU. And your kid's going to love Brian's books.
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