Wednesday, November 4, 2009

identity crisis

Okay. This one goes out to any of the other, impostor Andrew Smiths out there.

You're going to have to change your names.

Just about once every-other-week, I'll receive some kind of email, Facebook message, or friend request from someone who thinks I am a different Andrew Smith. I have a couple thoughts on this:

1.) Really? You just look up a name like Andrew Smith on some web-based directory and bam! the first one that comes up has to be your guy? Really?

2.) Oh, and I've been told that I "look like Andrew Smith," too. I am not shitting you, I have really been told that. Well, guess what? There's a reason why I look like Andrew Smith.

3.) This is the tough one -- Considering my tentative grasp on reality, sometimes I really do wonder if the person sending me the email in question, spilling their guts out about people I "know" and things we "did" -- sometimes I really begin to wonder if I really do know those people and really did do those things. Really.

This has been a particular annoyance because I've spent so much time recently writing a book about a guy who doesn't know if a) the things that are happening to him are really happening, and b) the people that he knows are actually real people.

So you can see my dilemma.

I'm going to have to contact "my people" and start proceedings against the fraudulent Andrew Smiths out there. This is my final warning: change your names.

Unless you actually do happen to be me.

As a mater of fact, here's a picture of a message I received just yesterday (I blotted out the ID of the sender). By the way, I still wonder if, maybe, I really do know what the hell this person is talking about: