Here's the deal: I don't write for anyone except for me. I write the stories that I like to read, and I write them in the narrative style and voice that I like to read. That's all there is to it.
So, a few years ago, when my agent told me she really liked what I wrote, I was kind of flabbergasted. Go ahead, ask her. I never considered the reality of someone else reading my stuff. I never really sat down and thought about it, but, to be perfectly honest, I don't think I ever wanted anyone to read my stuff. It was all too personal. I never even let my family read what I write until after it's published, and even then it kind of creeps me out.
And friends? They are right out. They will never tell you the truth -- they're always "trying" to be positive and stuff... So, if you are an aspiring author... do yourself a favor and keep your "stuff" away from your "friends."
So you can imagine that when my editor and publisher said they liked what I wrote - and that they wanted to publish this incredibly personal stuff that I had no idea would ever actually be READ by anyone, well... that kind of blew me away, too.
I know. I'm an idiot.
Do I respond to criticism well? I think so. But, of the following: Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, VOYA, School Library Journal, Horn Book Review, Booklist... all of those sources of criticism, I've always felt incredibly flattered by the way they've carefully observed the things I wrote that I never really intended for any eyes but my own.
But you know what eats me up and gives me those why-did-I-ever-want-to-be-a-writer weeks worse than anything? The things some people post on wide-open, come-as-you-are-and-feel-free-to-abuse-apostrophes internet boards like Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Goodreads. Really... not kidding... sometimes the things people post on those sites can make me feel suicidal.
So, I'll share with you a complete review that somebody who obtained an advance copy of The Marbury Lens wrote on Goodreads.
Ready?
Here it is, the entire review:
"Insightful, gripping, innovative, and dark, The Marbury Lens is nonetheless deeply sad and powerfully disturbing."
And, on the surface, I'm like... wow... those are some incredible adjectives that really describe my work. I can totally live with "insightful, gripping, innovative, and dark." After all, some of the greatest books I've ever read have those qualities. Powerful? Yay!!! [ahem. apologies.] And disturbing? Definitely.
But the reviewer gave the book a 3.
Ouch.
3 out of 5 is like a C.
Here's a picture, to prove it:
Things like that kill me.
Things like that make me have those why-did-I-ever-want-to-be-a-writer weeks.
Okay. I'll stop looking now.
8 comments:
I write for money. You know why? Money is real.
Critics? Who cares? Do I pay my car lease with reviews? No, the good people at Audi kind of insist on being paid with money.
Fame, critical acclaim, popularity, respectability, acceptance, they're all synonyms for bullshit. Why should I care what some librarian somewhere writes in Kirkus?
People call me cynical for wanting to ground myself in something tangible. And then worst of all, admitting it. The horror!
Writers are cogs in this big industry that doesn't care about anything other than money, and yet we're supposed to be the virgins at the orgy. Money? Why fiddle dee dee, Cap'n Murdoch, I don't trouble my pretty little head with money. The real cynicism for me would be in pretending not to know the nature of the game.
I'm not going to grant a good review the ability to puff my ego, or a bad review the power to drag me down.
You lease?
Leasing is for suckers. New cars are suckers. :)
All in all, 3 stars ain't so bad. I think the thing about those sites that one has to keep in mind (I know I do when I see those 1 star ratings for my books) is that you're ranking a book to you personal taste.
So it's possible to think a book is "powerful" and "gripping" but it not being your kind of book. In some ways that can be better than publications.
WIth the major publications, there is one person reading the book and writing their review. If it's not their kind of book, it gets trashed and carries with it an official stamp of approval from the publication.
Reviews in general are like acid...a good trip is like a quick shot of dopemine. A bad trip and you want to hide your head in a dark place where the doubting voices in your head stop shouting....or maybe I've just done too much acid in my day.
Two of my husband's iPhone apps were in a national magazine and were reviewed. One got four stars and the other got two (with a pretty bad review) - ouch. But, here's the thing - out of thousands and thousands of apps, two of his were chosen to be reviewed as the top 250 apps. So, even though there was a low review, it was still good enough to review.
Even if you get a 3 star review, your book was still good enough to read. Some books aren't for everyone, you know that. Just know that you will get at least a few fans who adore you and your writing - that's who you should focus on.
I personally can't wait to read your book, it sounds right up my alley.
Thanks Liz. And Brian: Reviews are like acid is priceless. Thank you.
Well, to be honest it's not me, it's an entirely separate legal entity -- my corporation -- that leases the car. The corporation thinks it's a useful deduction. The corporation likes fast German cars. Me? I'd totally drive a Prius if it was up to me.
You're a corporation?
Holy shit.
Isn't LIES coming out this week? I think I better buy some stock before it does. So far, I have bought multiple copies of GONE and HUNGER for kids at school.
Not to puff your ego or anything, Michael, but I love your books.
And... holy shit.
A corporation.
Dude, we had no choice: it's a legal work-around for getting health insurance. So far I owe the IRS like 60 grand. But I'm hard at work screwing up the paperwork even further, so I'm sure I can end up bankrupt and in federal prison before long.
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