This post contains many zen-like concepts.Most of you know how I feel about exclamation points. Call me narrow-minded, but men should never use exclamation points unless they are imprisoned by quotation marks. And then, they should stand alone: embarrassing flags of surrender to emotional diarrhea.
I have finally settled on a favorite all-time punctuation mark: the colon.
Sure... one would think, by mere count alone, that I have some fond affinity for the lack of commitment so temptingly offered by the semicolon; if nothing else, simply by its recurring appearance in my novels. And, yes... I improperly play around with the flirtatious ellipsis... especially here on the blog (which I insist, parenthetically, is not writing).
...which reminds me about what Mark Twain said about parenthetical phrases.
But I digress.
The em-dash, too, holds a special place -- if there could be one -- in my heart.
But I hate, hate, hate exclamation points.
And periods? Well... they're just part of the circle of life. I'm afraid to talk about periods. What man isn't?
But, the noble colon... that is my favorite: the king of all punctuation marks.
I have nothing but endless respect for writers who cleverly make use of their colons. In fact, I am convinced that I recently read an entire book -- yes, cover-to-cover, despite my intense desire to throw the excreta across the room -- that must have been entirely produced through the author's use of his colon.
Man! I need sleep!!!
(see what I mean?)
sorry, Twain.
6 comments:
I love reading about your punctuation habits...because only us writers (and maybe readers) get that involved in these symbols that most people let pass by without a thought.
For your enjoyment, I will share my thoughts:
! - I never use it in a novel, unless maybe in dialog during an argument. HOWEVER, in my chapter books, they're filled with ! as my kid characters are quite passionate and full of kid-centric observations about how LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!!!
: - the colon...I'm surprise with you. Never have I met such a useless piece of hardware as the colon. I would venture to bet that it never appears in any of my novels. In my opinion, thoughts shouldn't be attached to other thoughts, they should have their own space to breathe.
; - see above, however, in third person I find it a necessary tool now and again.
, - I hate the comma with all it's rules and regulations. It's the fascist of the punctuation world. Two of my novels are void of any commas. Instead I borrowed from The Ticket that Exploded and use . . as way to signal a pause.
" - same as above. I'd rather use em-dashes or itals.
. - I love me a good period.
You've inspired my blog post of the day, I will give you props where props are due.
cheers
Love it, Brian.
Semicolons have a certain elegance to them, but they're always presented wrong in English class. Like, the guy we were given as the prophet of the semicolon was Francis Bacon, and all the samples we were given by him just showed him creating fractal sentences that sprawled into tiresome messes.
Wait wait, *men* should never use exclamation points? I give that the fisheye*.
*This is a phrase used by a friend's parents to express distrust or suspicion. I probably shouldn't use it, since it requires an asterisk and supplementary explanation, but it is very accurate here.
That's right, Nora. It's just a fact of life: men should never use exclamation points unless they're inside quotation marks. I think it's in the latest MLA guide. I think I'm going to have to revisit the sacred Code of Boy in an upcoming blog.
Now, you can detract and assail the Code as much as you want, but the Code shall not crumble.
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