I did it.
The bio is finished.
It is vague and thin-shelled, because it does not tell about all these other things I have done in my life and where I went to school and stuff like that. I am not going to put it here, and it is not on my website, either, because I do not like that kind of stuff.
I have been restless.
I am not a good person when I am restless.
I am about ready to begin something new, but it isn't there yet. I know when things are there, and this is not.
There.
So, out of restlessness and my intense avoidance toward completing such tasks as taking author photos and crafting vague, thin-shelled bios which make me sound neither heroic nor accomplished by any stretch of the imagination, I decided to re-read through the last beast of a novel I'd finished writing this past October.
I still think it is good.
But I found about four typos in it.
Typos make me insane.
How can typos remain invisible through so many sessions of reading, rewriting, and editing?
Typos are like ghosts.
Here is one that made me want to break something: I typed od in a sentence where I had intended to type of.
How the hell can you do that and not even see the little bastard for months?
I hate typos.
Sure, you think, I am finished writing... now I will just do a quick read-through for spelling errors. And you read a few hundred pages a day and a misspelled, two-letter preposition camouflages itself amongst multisyllabic vessels of presumed significance.
And then I cringe, what if THEY think I really am an idiot who uses words like "od"?
This is what happens when I don't have enough to do.
7 comments:
I swear to god shit like this is my nemesis. I've read my own book so many times I want to pull my eyeballs out through my nostrils, and yet still things are missed.
How can it even be possible? You'll see.
I use "od" all the time in Scrabble when I am desperate. I haven't been desperate enough to use it in a book yet though. Maybe because I don't actually know what it means...
On the subject of typos, did you know that "Olympus" is spelled wrong on the back of Rick Riordan's The Son of Neptune? With the focus that is given to Olympus, you would think that they would at least know how to spell it.
od instead of of
id instead of if
you instead of your
Typos are truly camouflaging bastards.
What? You people want to put me out of a job?
I see a typo and think, "Why can't writers be paid enough to hire professional stenographers to type out their opera?"
After numerous typos, I think, "Why can't they at least use spell-check?"
The Navajos knew that imperfections in their weavings allowed communication between humans and spirits. I don't know what that means exactly in relation to typos, but it sounds comforting, no?
I love you writers all.
I know the feeling well. It is manic and maddening.
So you had four moments to commune with spirits.
Maybe the typos are from Eddie.
Post a Comment