Wednesday, February 23, 2011

there is a light and it never goes out


So I was thinking about this thing called "Writer's Block" the other day.

I still do not believe in it.

I remember having a kind-of cool assignment one time, way back when I was an undergrad and was taking a course in expository writing. I liked the class a lot. I found the professor to be energetic and really attached to what she was trying to teach us, even if she and some of the other students in the course, as I recall, scowled over my use of the word "piss" to describe the flavor of a particular wine in one of our assignments.

Well, the wine wasn't in our assignment. I just wrote about it. Tasting like piss.

I also tended to use other words that the professor and my fellow students of expository writing... well... weren't used to seeing in college papers.

Anyway, this one assignment was about giving a personality and human characteristics to the monster that stops us from writing. You know, some people... well... probably a lot of people... feel like they can't sit down to write unless their house is clean, or until there are no dirty dishes in the sink.

Stuff like that.

So they let these really dumb and unimportant obsessions become monsters that need to be taken care of before they can sit down to write.

And once they slay all the monsters, it's, like, bedtime and they have to get up and do the same routine all over again the next day.

Maybe that's why I start writing at 3 a.m.

But I still don't let anything get in the way.

Trust me, I have enough monsters that won't go away to worry about the weaklings who try distracting me with things like dishes and dust bunnies.

So, anyway, if you're a writer and you actually believe in this unicorn called Writer's Block, maybe you should try turning it into a real, go-wash-the-dishes-and-pick-up-the-poop-in-the-yard monster.

And then write about it.

Beats the shit out of zombies and vampires, if you ask me.

Ooops... there was one of those words I got in trouble for.

"Vampire."


8 comments:

Matthew Rush said...

I don't have these problems. Either of them. I never really run out of things to write. Sure, sometimes it's shit, in fact it usually is, at least at first, but I don't let little things like chores get in the way of vomiting shit onto the page.

Lady Reader said...

#stillnotpickingitup

Andrew Smith said...

there goes our afternoon of croquet.

Michael said...

Writer's block. When I hear about guys getting "cooking burgers at Wendy's block," or "Wal-Mart greeter's block," I'll start having writer's block.

Laura Campbell said...

I am one of those folks who falls prey to chores. I'm a hyper organized person, some may say anal, and it makes me crazy when things aren't in their right place. Fortunately for me I am not shackled to a day job, so I am able to get my cleaning done and write.

Andrew Smith said...

Hi Laura,

Thank you for participating in the blog. Hmmm... a writer with a tidiness compulsion? Seriously, my desk would probably give you nightmares.

Nahno McLein said...

That's a difficult one.

I'm not sure that I like Writer's Block as a term. People use it just to say they are stalling with Uni work or with any kind of writing ("I need to write my Granny, but I can't. I think I have a Writer's Block")

I think it's an excuse that makes it easier to do the dishes instead. I think it's all in the subconscious and with certain techniques the human mind can fight against it. I learned that in psychology training. Maybe should post about it someday.
Nahno ∗ McLein

Connie said...

I've read a few books that i really wish the writer had had writers block. It would have saved me time and money.