ya wanna write? (2)

"Here are five bullets for the boys on the boat.

Here is one more for the saint."

Second Bullet: Study. I know that sounds unpleasant, but... study.

If you're going to be a chef, you probably need to know what food tastes like. If you want to be a writer, you're going to have to read.

I know this is ridiculous, but I've met an awful lot of people (young and "very adult") who want to be writers, but do not read. It's not even that they don't like reading... they just don't read anything.

I don't know. Maybe they have this image conjured up about how we writers live: you know... the nonstop partying, the wild book tours, and the groupies... God!, they're everywhere.

Well, all that's true, but you can't have those cherished perks unless you've got a solid background as a reader.

Text messages do not count as reading.

Neither do textbooks.

Hear that teachers and schools? Nothing turns kids off to reading like a nice fat textbook. I don't even know why they exist. Nobody reads them. Give a kid a textbook, and it's like saying, here kid, carry this around for the next nine months, it may increase your upper body strength, because, God knows, you're not going to read it.

You have to find your reading.

It's out there, kid, so don't be a wimp and give up on the hunt because it doesn't jump off the shelf and hit you in the face.

If you are very lucky, you might have a parent, a teacher, librarian, (usually independent) bookseller, or even a friend who knows this secret about reading (that you have to find it) and will be your hunting partner.

That's a pretty cool relationship to have with someone.

And, when you read, you have to really read. You have to pay attention to the details: what makes a paragraph, how the author uses punctuation, spelling, and grammar. There are lots of different techniques out there, and not one of them is absolutely, infallibly, correct.

But "Study" also means this: (and remember, you said you want to be a writer, and I'm just trying to make it easier for you) When you are in high school, you will need to find the person who is willing to look at your writing (even if it's just a paragraph response to an open-ended prompt -- it doesn't have to be anything fancy), who has the time for you, and the ability to do this, and make you work to improve your technique (Remember, the voice part comes later on in life). Hint: this person is not always an English teacher. Go ahead, English teachers out there... let me have it. I know this is a lame defense -- in fact, I'm not even trying to defend myself -- but I have an awful lot of friends who are English teachers. The truth is, a lot of them can't write. (A lot of them don't read, either, but don't tell anyone). But that person who can help you is there. Every high school usually has a few of them.

After high school, it means you're going to have to NOT AVOID taking classes where you must write with execution and technique. These types of courses cut across all disciplines, and they're usually going to be the ones your friends (you know, the guys you hang out with who can't understand why you like to read and write) will tell you to never take.

This first part of the journey -- like learning how to become a chef -- deals with the technical foundation of writing. It's nuts and bolts stuff, but it's really easy to steer yourself away from and still come out of high school with a record that gives some kind of false testimony to your scholarly achievements. And, more and more as we've dumbed down the masses to a collective blob of children that has "Not Been Left Behind" (and we can prove it because they can navigate through a TV Guide), high schools are willing to let you not get left behind and do exactly that.

So you're going to have to work a bit, kid. And that brings me up to the third bullet.

No one said it was going to be easy, kid, but if you can't swallow these first couple bullets, give up now.

This is the easy part.

[Author's Note: Tomorrow, I am catching a very early flight to Arizona for the weekend, where I will be appearing at "YAllapalooza" at Changing Hands Bookstore in Phoenix with fellow authors Blake Nelson, Carol Snow, Cecil Castellucci, and Mark Williams. But I still have a few more bullets left for you, and I will not disappoint. Just the posting times may be a bit delayed]

ya wanna write?

"Here are five bullets for the boys on the boat.

Here is one more for the saint."

Those are two of my favorite lines from the last book I wrote. I realize they don't make any sense just floating out there without contextual anchors, but I just really like the way they have a kind of rhythm and they also paint a vivid, if undefined, picture of something.

So. Here we go. I'm going to lay it on the line, kid. Five bullets. This is something I've been thinking about for a long time, and I may as well try to get it out.

I'm writing today, as I said before, to give an answer to all those great kids I've met in the past couple of years who've asked me to tell them what they need to do to become writers. So, these are my five bullets to being a writer.

One thing up front, though: If you are a (published) writer, and you're reading this, keep in mind that this is NOT about you. If you think I'm wrong and my advice sucks, that's fine with me. Go ahead and comment.


First Bullet: Be patient. There are two key ingredients to being a decent writer: the technical ability, and the voice. Young people can acquire technical ability if they work on it, but voice is usually something that comes with age and experience. Not always, but usually.

As far as the technical aspect is concerned, you simply must have a grasp of the basic fundamentals or nobody will ever take you seriously. Maybe it's that teachers have too many students nowadays, maybe the teachers themselves don't know (I do hear a LOT of math and science teachers whine, "But I'm NOT an English teacher." Um... yes you are, bonehead), but it's almost unbelievable to me how young people have lost their grasp of the distinction between words like your and you're; then and than -- ugh! the list is frustratingly long. When I went to school, we used to drill those things all the time. Kids were better technical writers then, too. Sigh. Today they make better collages, I think.

Also, kids, no, no NO... do not fool yourself into thinking that editors will fix those things. If something comes in to an editor's inbox and it is instantly clear that the writer can't make these basic technical distinctions, it will be shredded. Maybe even laughed at and THEN shredded.

That said, typos are typos. Everyone makes those. We know typos when we see thme.

I'm going to give some advice on acquiring the technical elements coming up in some of the later bullets.

Now, as far as the second essential element, voice: This is kind of my motto, my sales pitch for living life, I frequently give kids who want to write.

Turn your TV off, step away from your computer, take your earbuds out, get out of your home and start bumping into stuff.

And take your time doing it. This is why so many young people who want to write, and maybe even attempt to write their first novel at, say, fifteen, write fantasy. Because they don't have any real-world experiences that they've been able to process through... so it's easier to write about a big war, elves, wizards, and maybe a dragon or two.

Now, I'm not knocking fantasy as a genre, but, come on kids. Get out there and live a little. Then come back and tell me a story.

Now, every so often, a kid will just happen along and blow you away with his chops and maturity -- the distinction of his voice -- as well as his technical abilities.

Kind of like guitarist Johnny Lang, when he was fourteen. It's like, damn, that kid can play. But, generally, you won't have that combination of technique and voice (execution) until you've done some bumping into stuff.

Maybe that's why I'd waited so long, despite having acquired my technical basics by having worked as a journalist and copy writer, before actually taking myself at least a little bit seriously as a novelist. And, over those couple decades, I'd bumped into stuff like this (none of which is recommended): been on an airplane that caught fire, been in an active war zone with explosions going off around me, watched several people die, had friends who'd been murdered, drifted around the world by myself with nothing but a backpack full of dirty clothes, been kidnapped, crossed borders illegally, hmmm... I'll leave the really bad stuff out.

But I bumped into stuff, and I'm here to talk about it. Or write about it.

Okay. So, speaking of bumping into stuff, I met this kid who happened to like my first book, and I took a look at some of the stuff he's written. Here's a little bit:

He’s shy, she says and they nod and smile. Being shy can be cute when you’re a kid. Everyone likes a polite young man. You’ve raised him well, he’s come a long way. But I’m keys jangling on a key chain, I’m coins rattling in someone’s pocket.

Now, keep in mind that this is a kid -- a young adult -- in high school. He's already got both things going for him: technique (as far as I know this did not pass through a professional editor, and I can't find any mistakes. Well... I'd probably use a semicolon after the word "chain," as opposed to a comma, but what do I know?), and he definitely has a voice that we don't see often at all in samples from that particular age group.

This kid could be on his way, and get there a lot quicker than most of us do.

I'm not nearly finished. I've got four more bullets to go.

yi <3 ya (2)

Let me tell you again how much I <3 YA.

Text to YA: 831

I know. Sometimes I make myself sick.

There is this great task that goes along with writing for young people, and writing about young people's lives. It's more than a responsibility, I think. Because people who write about the young adult experience -- and these books will invariably end up in the hands of "adults of all ages" (to quote my friend, Ellen Hopkins) -- get to pass down everything we know, everything we have witnessed and experienced as we've passed those same milestones on the journey to adulthood.

And all of those things range from experiences that approach holiness in their beauty to those which present the most difficult challenges and harshest images of reality. It's all part of the experience of becoming an adult, and it's also why I feel so strongly about confronting issues and having the freedom and guts to put it all out there.

That's why I love YA.

And when I read a really great YA novel -- I mean a really great one -- I know that author feels this same sense of satisfaction with, at least, attempting to fulfill that task.

There are lots of good YA novels out there -- and a few of them are really great. But I don't make "Best Of" lists, and I don't review the works of other authors. That's not my job. I said what my job was a few paragraphs ago.

I love my job.

I love waking up every day, getting a cup of coffee, and sitting down to work on my projects (I have two of them going on at the moment). I even love the feeling of not knowing whether I'm completely insane -- and writing stuff that is absolute crap.

But because I kind of fell into this non-genre of YA, over the past few years I've become unintentionally connected to schools and Young Adult librarians all over the country. And I really love that.

From the kids in Pennsylvania who made a podcast discussion of one of my books, and the kids in Wisconsin who enjoyed my latest novel during their Teen Read Week celebration, and the dozens of schools and thousands of students I've visited here in California, it's all been one of the most powerful and rewarding experiences I could ever imagine: it's about connection and communication with "Young Adults" who maybe see something of themselves, their friends, or their lives in the words YA authors give them.

That's why I love YA.

But, and I'll end this series on Why I Love YA with this, the number one reason why I love YA: It's when I hear from that one individual out there -- that isolated "Young Adult" -- who says something like, "Your book was the first book I ever read all the way through. When are you going to write another one?"; or kids who have the guts to sit down with me, one-on-one, and say "I really want to be a writer one day. What should I do when I get out of high school?"; and, especially the "Young Adult" readers out there who've sent me letters and emails about how much they loved my book, how it made them think about themselves, their friends, or their brothers, in a different way.

It doesn't get any better than that.

That's why I love YA.

This past year, I've had the opportunity to "get out there" more, and visit with readers, students, librarians, booksellers, and schools -- most likely because I'm a cheap date (I listed on Mrs. Nelson's forthcoming author directory that I would do a school visit for a T-shirt. Chino Hills High gave me a totally cool hat). Anyway, a lot of YAs have asked me for advice about writing.

I've posted "Advice for Writers" bits on here before, but tomorrow I'm going to give my honest, not-messing-around-with-your-heads, advice for kids... er, young adults, about what you should do if you want to become a writer.

yi <3 ya (1)

It is my job to say what I think.

Or plagiarize Voltaire.

It was Voltaire, I believe, who actually first penned the immortal line, "I love YA."

Well, I think he used the emoticon, <3.

Way ahead of his time.

And I know this is going to make a bunch of people crazy, especially those who got really really pissed off at me over the last three days, but today I will confess: I am in love.

I love YA.

Let me tell you why.

I got my first professional writing gig when I was a teenager. So, I've been writing for quite a long time... if you do the math. It wasn't until about six years ago or so, that a great friend of mine (an author whom I'd known since those teen years) talked me into trying to publish a novel. So, I'm, like, okay... I've actually got this novel called Ghost Medicine, that I think is pretty good. I'll give it a whack.

This is absolutely true. So, before I started looking for an agent (because I knew that I would need one if I was going to be successful), I described my novel to my friend. Here's what happened:

FRIEND: Oh. That sounds like YA.

ME: YA? WTF is YA?

Seriously. I'd never heard of YA. I just wrote a novel with young characters, but I wrote it with the idea that I would be the person who'd read it.

Okay. So, if you were going to make a diagram of what constitutes YA, then, quite obviously one of the unifying characteristics of the non-genre is that the works involve characters that are "young."

I love writing about young characters (therefore I <3 YA) for a few simple reasons.

First of all, "Young Adults" are new at the game of making grown-up decisions. So, they're going to make mistakes. As a reader, it's a lot easier to forgive a kid for making a mistake than it is to forgive a forty-year-old stockbroker. So there's a natural emotional buy-in for characters who have the freedom to do lots of different -- and crazy -- things, but still don't get written off as "losers."

I <3 writing YA because of that.

Now, back in October, during Teen Read Week, I had the opportunity to stealthily observe an author of YA fantasy speaking to a group of high school students. I know... my bad... the author had no idea there was another "YA" author present.

Spying.

Anyway, this author actually had the audacity -- when talking to kids about writing -- to say that there are no new stories that can be told, so if you aspire to be a writer, you'd better craft something that will excite and attract your prospective buyer.

I'm not kidding. The author actually said that to kids. No new stories. When I looked through the author's book, I wasn't surprised to see it was a fantasy with a big war, elves, and wizards.

I'm not kidding about that, either.

But, whether or not this author's conviction that there are no new stories is valid (and I -- in the most self-esteem-preserving way possible -- think this author is a nut-job), "Young Adults" always tend to see themselves as being totally unique. Kids can't possibly believe that anyone else in the world is living a story exactly like their own.

Kids who embrace that idea have the right stuff to get started on the road to writing, and I love (<3) the thought of empowering kids to believe they can become authors.

And I believe that, too. Every kid, and therefore every valid YA character, has a story that is unique, and potentially worthy of being told and listened to.

That's another reason why I <3 YA.

Making you crazy?

I'm just getting started on this.

[Author's Note: My New Year's Resolutions did include the abstention from ever using exclamation points, the word "awesome," and emoticons. I apologize.]

yi h8 ya (3)

Okay. Let me tell you how much I hate YA.

I'm letting all the big reasons out today, so hang on.

First, a little backstory. I was e-talking with Lia Keyes the other day, and she mentioned to me about another author who thought that YA as a category should be done away with. She thought it would be interesting -- fiery -- to have me participate in this debate.

And, I'm, like, what debate? I totally agree.

I hate YA.

Here are my three biggest reasons:

1. YA has no definition. You may just as well call it "fiction." And, because of this ill-defined super-categorization of what I believe to be a non-existent genre, people carry too many pre-conceived expectations about constraints on content and embedded curriculum (see point 2).

The thing is -- and why YA is a pointless label -- is that YA contains every genre of the broader category of fiction, from contemporary literary, to science fiction, paranormal romance, chick-lit, fantasy, humor, and so on. But the YA section in a bookstore is the vampire section.

It's kind of like putting all adult fiction in the "Dan Brown" section. Remember, "YA" didn't exist when Twain wrote The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, or even when Harper Lee wrote To Kill a Mockingbird. I don't think there was such a category when Stephen King wrote Carrie or 'Salem's Lot, both of which would definitely be stamped with the big Y and A if they were published for the first time today.

All those titles up there (and I'm sure you could think of many others) were just novels.

Let's revisit the Venn Diagram from two days ago:



They're still "adults," right? Just "young" ones.

2. The Expectation and the Blues. (That's the title of a really great song from Corb Lund)

(The Blues)... best "back-at-ya" comment I received from someone on the "Part 1" installment:

"As a writer you can write for any age group you want, can’t you?

If you hated being a teenager why write for and about an age that made you unhappy?"

Okay. Now, I am definitely NOT speaking on behalf of all authors here, so don't give me any superpowers I don't already possess.

First, question one: I don't write for an age group. Not ever. Nope. Totally wrong assumption. I write to tell a story. The only target in my mind is a story, NOT a demographic.

As far as question two goes: ouch. huh?

What a downer.

So, the expectation part: See, when people pre-suppose a work of fiction is only for a particular age group (and that age group happens to be... let's say, high school kids), then they frequently get all caught up in the thought that what you write must contain some kind of curriculum geared toward the elevation or the insulation of the fragile "young adult" soul.

It's pretty much what I've been railing against for two days now. And for those people who want to put the cart up front of the horse, and pre-plan a target demographic and constraints on content, that's all totally fine with me.

Do you hear me? It's fine with me.

Just don't expect me to do it.

I just write stories. If people want to get all caught up in the debate about a writer's lack of responsibility for including certain content elements, then they can't possibly be talking about books for "adults," whether they're young, old, or anything else.

My readers are adults. Young ones and old ones. It's a disservice, in my opinion, to treat them like children.

3. Back to Taxonomy: (And I know this will likely tick off a lot of my author friends, so, for that, let me apologize in advance)

Take a look at the Venn Diagram above, one more time. Now, where it says "People," imagine the word "Literature."

One of the things I've struggled with most -- and, given that I've NEVER set out to aim anything I've written at a particular demographic sector -- is that everywhere you go, YA literature and YA writers are constrained within the "Children's Literature" circle.

How can this be? How can you be a writer for "adults," and produce work that has the big Y and the equally big A on it and also, simultaneously, be considered a county within the kingdom of KidLit?

It makes me crazy. I don't have any answer for it, either.

But it's a big reason why I hate YA.

If you don't get this, don't try. Don't get all bent out of shape thinking I don't LOVE reading great books by writers I totally admire, love, and respect -- who also happen to be burdened with the evil brand of YA.

We wear it proudly. But I hate it.

yi h8 ya (2)

I still hate YA.

You remember all those times your mom told you the old if-all-your-friends-jumped-off-a-cliff-would-you-do-it-too line? You know what I told my mom when she tried that one on me?

Um... no. I'd go down to the bottom and start looking for wallets and jewelry.

So, there's this assumption that "young adults" make some kind of moral and ethical connection between choices made by fictional characters they empathize with and the REAL-WORLD decisions and actions they assume themselves.

Again, I'm not making this up, this comes straight from the Thought-Police sites of the Wonder(bread)blog I mentioned yesterday.

I think we've all known some particularly dumb kid at one point in our lives who jumped off his roof wearing a red blanket clothespinned to his neck after he watched an episode of Superman.

Yeah... broken femurs are actually pretty damned funny sometimes.

Everyone loves observing idiocy from a safe distance, but give kids... er... Young Adults credit that their B.S. filters are functional. For those whose filters are a little "glitchy," like the red blanket boy mentioned above, we have one great hope: please do not attempt to breed.

One more bit about why I hate YA. I've been accused -- multiple times, and by different "adults" -- of being a bad father, because of what I write about.

First, allow me to fully confess and lay it all on the table: My first two books, Ghost Medicine, and in the path of falling objects have the words "damn" and "hell" in them (this is a hint that my next book, The Marbury Lens has quite an "expanded" vocabulary). They also include on- and off-screen references to underage sex, drinking, smoking, getting tattoos, chewing tobacco, suicide, driving without a license, and marijuana use.

So I'm a bad father. I made those things happen in my teenage kids' world, didn't I? I should have shielded their eyes and ears from such goings-on, and hope and pray that they remain untainted by reality, so they can live with me and their mother until well into their forties. As untattooed virgins.

Shoot me now.

You see, the clean-YA bloggers insist that you should never write anything if the prospect of your own kids reading it makes you feel "uncomfortable."

Sometimes, dealing with things with your kids that make you feel a little uncomfortable is a preferential strategy to burying their heads in the sand and hoping they don't catch passing glimpses of what the rest of the world is like.

So, yeah... I honestly do not feel uncomfortable at the thought of my fifteen-year-old son or my soon-to-be-thirteen daughter reading my stuff, because I know who they are, and I am there to talk about things with them (my son was devastated by something that a character did in Ghost Medicine, which he read at thirteen).

Sometimes kids do have to make tough choices, and we can always count on the fact that fledgling, "Young" adults are definitely going to make mistakes -- and, unlike red-blanket-boy, hopefully learn from them.

The bottom line, though, is that when we do let our "Young Adults" out into the world (as we do every single day -- at school, at malls, hanging out with their buddies) and they get confronted with difficult choices, the voice in their head that tells them which course to take is not going to be that of a character in the most recent book they enjoyed.

If you're worried about that, you better round up and hide all your red blankets, clothespins, and step-ladders.

Coming up tomorrow: My BIGGEST reasons why I hate YA.

yi h8 ya

I hate YA.

Let me explain.

I hate YA for many of the same reasons I hated being a teenager: there are all these external expectations on who you are "supposed" to be, and, simultaneously, you're trying to figure that out on your own.

Okay. Try this experiment. Close your eyes.

Wait. First, get someone to read this to you aloud. Or else, just pretend to close your eyes.

Now, let's make a Venn diagram (I know... Venn Diagrams are the new black). The paper the diagram is on is "People." Now, draw a circle for "Children," and another for "Adults."

Unless you're a moron, those circles won't be touching at all.

Now, draw a circle for "Young Adults."

Again... moron test: that circle should be entirely enclosed within "Adults."

If you're a writer, you have to realize that there are certain mile markers we pass in order to become adult. It doesn't necessarily happen at a predetermined chronological age, either. But it does happen. Bam! You're an adult.

Young adults are inexperienced (because -- duh! they're "young") at dealing with certain things, so they make mistakes. It's forgivable in most cases.

Okay, now here's a reason why I hate YA: A lot of people have this notion that YA literature should steer away from certain "adult" concepts. Those people wouldn't pass the moron test described above.

I'll confess that I read a certain "book blogger" who really emphasizes cleanliness as being an overarching responsibility in YA. I read that particular blogger because the person is actually a fairly decent writer, as opposed to so many illiterate dimwits who blog about YA. And, I'm not going to ID the blogger for two reasons: 1) I don't want to get into a pissing match, and 2) I don't want to increase the traffic on that particular blog... because it's wrong.

A couple points this blogger makes about YA (and, by the way, I am an author who has two teens at home -- one of each gender):

1. We, as authors, have a duty to raise strong, responsible adults who make strong, responsible decisions.

2. If there's underage sex in a book, you are acting irresponsibly if you allow a teen to read it. Allowing a teen to read such a book is equivalent to endorsing irresponsible sexual behavior.

Okay, that's the gist of this particular blogger's theory on YA and the duty of authors and parents.

As to the first point, I agree that parents do have a responsibility to raise their kids to make ethical decisions. But it doesn't always happen, and a great deal of what we learn as we pass those milestones toward "adulthood" comes at the expense of making mistakes. (A great line from Elvis Costello: "Some people can't be told, you know, they have to learn the hard way.")

Where I depart from the first point is that as an author, I feel a responsibility to tell as much as I can about WHAT IT IS REALLY LIKE OUT THERE... without necessarily condoning anything.

As far as point 2 goes (and -- seriously -- I am not making this up about this particular blogger), I suppose the blogger believes there is some magical moment, like the age of eighteen, when sex becomes okay. Now... a couple points. First, I realize I grew up in what truly was "The Greatest Generation," and, no, it wasn't WW2 (as I talked about with my friends Wendel and Yvonne a few weeks ago), it was the "Generation that used up the next 100 years' worth of fun."

And, really, I don't think I knew anyone from that particular generation who waited for a specific number to show up on their driver's license before having sex -- whether underage or not.

Furthermore, in my own experience, and having seen a lot of the world, if we really could make people wait until they were sufficiently responsible, ethical, and psychologically strong before allowing them to so much as read about sex, then half the world would never be "of age," and the other half would probably have to wait until their thirties.

You try enforcing that one.

And lighten up. I think your pants are a little too tight.

[Author's Note: Don't worry, "they" will be back... eventually. This is the first installment of a short series on WHY I HATE YA]