So, on yesterday's blog, I posted the time for the upcoming chat over on Evil Editor's blog regarding this month's book selection: The Marbury Lens.
The weekend of the chat also happens to coincide with a big conference in Los Angeles, SCBWI-LA.
So, I may pop down to Los Angeles around then, not to attend the conference, just to say hello to friends from all over the place, and ogle the creepy dangerous people who stalk agents and editors inside toilets, who all will happen to be congealing around the fun-filled event.
But yesterday's post wasn't one that you'd naturally read reader comments. I did get one that was kind of... well... sad, I guess. And I'm having a hard time figuring it out.
Do you think it's real? And, if so, what would you tell the kid?
Here's what it said:
So I just wanted to say that I really love your blog and your books Andrew, but my mom found my copy of The Marbury Lens, so I can't follow it anymore :( She read the first few pages and was shocked by the "explicit sex". Now she's questioning me about every single book on my shelf and assuming that they are all "rated R". This whole situation is completely ridiculous because I'm 18 years old and not once has she mentioned what I could and couldn't read before this...Anyway, The Marbury Lens is my 3rd favorite book, not because I enjoy explicit and graphic writing, but because I enjoy good writing. Just wanted to say that.
22 comments:
I saw that first thing this morning when I checked to see if I'd said anything stupid last night.
At first I wondered if it might be fake too. I mean 18? A mom that spies on and worries about every little thing her 18 year old reads? It seemed a little far fetched.
But then I remembered that Jersey Shore is the most popular television show MTV has ever aired, and I cried, because in this world that we live in, that comment could easily be true.
Yeah... I just don't know.
It is a very well-written comment though. Whoever did it, kid or not, has an ability to express.
That said, neither of my kids are 18. But even if they lived in my house (this won't happen) when they're 30, they'd have to live by my rules. I would expect them to.
I don't have rules about content in books. You should see some of the books I share with my son. And I would NEVER look through his books in his room without asking him, and him being there.
But that's just me.
If the story is real, the kid's in a tough spot. It's mom's house, and you have to respect that.
Personally, I'd get out. But then again, I'd already been living on my own for 2 years by the time I was 18.
It's a tough one.
Can't paint the mom as completely guilty and bad.
There's an interesting chapter in the book I'm currently writing that serves as a kind of standalone short story that I'd like to send the mom. It's called "Stupid People Should Never Read Books."
;)
Oh, and I'm not calling mom stupid, either. That's just the title of the story.
In case you were wondering, I only have two rules in my house:
1. No prancing
2. No Crocs
That's it. Ask my kids. They'll tell you. We get along just fine.
Yeah, that's tough, because you're right, Mom has every right to set the rules, as long as she's paying all the bills and such.
I mean I think that she has to accept that if you choose to parent using those kind of methods you're going to have to be prepared for the possibility of pushing your child away, but that's her prerogative.
Personally I let my kids read and watch anything, because I'd rather know what they're curious about, and maybe have an opportunity to discuss it with them, than to oppress their thirst for knowledge.
Oh well, we can only be the kings of our own little castles.
And what about flip-flops? Are you okay with flip-flops?
Of course flip-flops are okay. You'll break your fucking neck if you prance in them. win-win.
*sorry for the f-bomb
This reminds me a lot of the time my mom went through my records looking for satanic music. Of course, I was 8 and not 18. Funny thing was, she never cared what I read. When I was 9, I learned what rape was from a book called The Devil's Cat.
At 18 though, this kid should start standing up for himself. I know that he may be in a situation where it's not entirely possible...if his parents are religious and he needs their support for college and whatnot, he may not be able to tell them to back off, but he still needs to have some kind of dialog with them about this. Rolling over and ignoring the problem won't help.
I think (and I'm probably wrong as I so usually am) I'd tell him to just be honest with his mom. Sit down and rationally explain about the books he likes, and see if she gets it. If not, then do as teenagers from ages past have done and stash them in a secret hiding place with the porn.
I wonder if the gender of the kid matters. You can't really tell by the comment. I assumed, when I first read it, that it was from a boy. It could be from a girl, though.
I wonder if parents have different limits for boys and girls. I have a son and a daughter, and I treat them the same as far as the rules are concerned.
But, especially in the case of The Marbury Lens, I think that parents of boys who read the book are the most impacted. And those who have strict expectations about the kinds of things we should be allowed to discuss as issues often feel the most threatened by having to confront things that really can - and do - happen.
I don't know...
I want to know what anon's first two favorite books are.
I prance.
I mean, how can you not prance when Vampire Weekend is playing?
Seriously.
Yeah... I'd like to know that, too. The other day I made a comment on a post about a book my son and I just read, and I said that I thought it was probably in the Top Three All-Time Brilliant American Novels, and I wondered what the author would think about that if he knew who my top three were... if he's be offended or flattered.
So, until Anonymous lists those other two books, I can fantasize that they would also be somewhere near the top of my own.
Would be nice.
The comment, in itself, is quite a beautiful thing to hear from any reader, though.
*he'd
If he's 18 and letting his mommy tell him what to read he's got problems. And if his mother is pulling that shit she's got problems.
It's probably fake just because I can't conceive of an 18 year-old so devoid of pride he'd admit to something like this.
I can't see an author getting offended by your other choices. Do you think Cormac McCarthy would be offended to know that The Hunger Games follows The Road on my list?
1. I like to prance.
2. I loathe Crocs.
Darn, Drew! You totally ruined my fantasy. Meeting you on the Stick Tour, prancing in my Crocs. (You: I'm NOT signing your book while you're doing THAT in THOSE! No effing way! Me: ... *cries*)
On to our perplexed 18-year-old. I remember being a freshman in high school when I read my first YA book. Eragon by Christopher Paolini. I'd never read anything so big, so good, so powerful. My mom took one look at the cover, told me dragons were evil, and snatched the book from me.
I'm 22 now. My mother still highly objects to what I read. But when I turned 18, she and I reached an agreement: I am an adult. Though I live with her at them moment, there are certain household rules I follow. When I turned 18, the books I read were no longer a household issue. I won't pretend like this was an easy agreement to reach.
All I'm saying is that I understand this young man. Whether this is a true story or some corny prank, I'm certain someone out there his age is experiencing this exact same thing. I feel for them all.
But Michael and Shaun are right: He needs to find a way to articulate how he feels about his mother snooping through his book collection, something quite personal to every reader. It won't be easy, but necessary.
Ha! I hope I do get to meet you. I promise not to judge on the basis of footwear.
I think Adam makes a great point. I got sent to live with an aunt and uncle after my mom died and my dad ...
... anyway they were mostly okay, but they had a few weird ticks. For one they couldn't handle that I loved D&D and fantasy novels. Not fucking buxom barmaid and scantily clad whore "novels" either. I'm talking about Tolkien, Le Guin, Eddings, Jordan, and stuff like that. They weren't even overly religious or anything, just uneducated and scared of hype.
What did I do? I told them what was up, did my thing, and was off to boarding school by tenth grade anyway.
NOTE: I happen to love Eragon. (the books, NOT the "film") I know it's a complete fantasy derivative of Star Wars, and full of tropes, but I don't care. Star Wars, with magic and dragons instead of the force and lightsabers? Hell yeah. I'm in.
Matthew, my man, you and I have just become steadfast friends. Eragon is the reason I'm a novelist to this day. Read that book, took a look at Paolini's age, and said, "I'm fifteen. If he could do it, I can too." And even though what I write now is VASTLY different than where I started, its that background and that drive that keeps me going.
(Psst! My word verification term is "dicatize". Why does that sound funny to me?)
That's awesome, Adam. My daughter and I both love those books. It's one of the biggest things we can connect on.
SQUEEEEEE for Inheritance!! :D
I think I like this kid. Drew, ask him which book of yours he wants and I'll buy it and send it to him. Yes I'm a little tipsy, but no, I'm not playing.
Just keep in mind if you post about this next week, I'll need an email, as I'll be out of town.
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