Wednesday, January 23, 2008

nicer now


Someone's looking.

Nicer now.

Have you ever had a run-in with an out-of-control cop? I have. More than once. I seem to attract them. It happens to the main character in Ghost Medicine, too. The thing is, I can't even remember the last time I got a traffic ticket. I think it was about 20 years ago, but I'm not really sure. But, jeez! I sure seem to rub cops the wrong way sometimes.

The scary thing is that they're allowed to carry guns and big flashlights (I don't even own a flashlight, remember?), and seem so well-versed in making hauntingly nonspecific threats to individuals they disagree with. Some of them even subtly threaten noninvolved family members, too. The State must offer some type of training these days at the law enforcement academies on "Hauntingly Nonspecific Threat Delivery." It's kind of like a verbal taser, I guess.

"You do not want to make an adversary of me."

Honestly... who talks like that??? I swear, this is an exact quote. If I just saw this written down in some Cop Thriller story I would laugh... but I heard it with my own ears. It's as funny to me as hearing someone actually use the word "perhaps" in conversation. But I digress in italicization too long...

"I will mess up your life. Your kids will NOT be happy with it."

Hey... it works.

"I will comply with your irrational and out-of-control decrees, officer, as I do not at this time wish my ten-year-old daughter to be fatherless."

Cost effective compliance mechanism. And not the product of sweatshop labor. Contains no lead.

I notice that all the manufacturers of taser guns I could find are over there in the land of the high-lead-content-sweatshop. It's not like I'm a taser freak or anything. I just woke up this morning and the first thing that popped into my head was: I wonder who works in a taser gun factory?

This is what happens to me when I get more than 10 hours of sleep. That's probably more sleep than some cops get in a week.

I will continue on this thought, and why I decided to just sleep -- and nothing else -- for the last twelve hours.